Archive for the ‘Private’ Category

Silent, introverted and still making friends

Thursday, September 27th, 2012

I am pretty much an introverted guy and so a friend of mine once told me that she was concerned that I would have problems to cope with a group of people who don’t know me at all. I deeply appreciated her concern because it is nothing that is unlikely and in my past I experienced it quite often to be “outside” of a group of people.

As an introvert you usually are not that open in talks and discussions and you are more observing/reserved and rather in the position of being asked by someone than asking yourself or introducing yourself. This is the part which makes it usually pretty difficult or at least not easy for introverts to get connections in a group.

But there we have an advantage which extroverts don’t have. They usually expose themselves quite open and without hesitation. The result is pretty clear people decide if they like them or not during the first 10 seconds if not even faster. Good thing about this is that if you have charming character people like you immediately and making friends is not a problem at all. Downside is that if you push the wrong buttons you easily end up being disliked by the majority. And here is the advantage of introverts. Because we usually observe first and are a bit more reserved about what we say and to whom we are in the great position of real friends.

Just a sentence but then a sentence that hits its target. Listen to people and try to get where they are at and what you can say to bring them where they want to be. It is as simple as that and you start making friends right away. People don’t dislike you because you are quiet. They rather appreciate someone being quiet than someone who annoys all the time. The only danger for introverts is: Don’t be too quiet. You must overcome the fear or the hesitation of not-speaking. Choose your words wisely and you impress people with only a couple of sentences. And then you will make much deeper and longer lasting friendships than most extroverts do.

I know that sounds stereotyping and it kind of is but I hope you get my point. Just because you are naturally not the type of person who gets involved in a group quite fast does not mean you can’t make friends. It might take a few hours/days longer but in the end it will last longer. At least from my experience I can say that.

Why heavy metal/music?

Monday, September 24th, 2012

People ask me from time to time why I listen to hard music such as heavy metal, hard rock or metalcore. Well .. I could ask them why they listen to the music they listen to but what they actually mean is more a “why are you different to everyone else?”.

From a psychological perspective people search in music something which gives them comfort in they situation or pushes certain feelings as e.g. joy. Music that fits to peoples circumstances is what they want to listen to. Combined with that there must be a good amount of personality in the music as well. If someone is e.g. sad the music people listen to is different. Some like loud aggressive music others calm and quiet music.

In my case the heavy part in music comes probably from the fact that my personality is pretty self-controled and passionate about certain things. And in my life I experienced a lot of “disappointments” in how to deal with these things. For instance social injustice. How do you deal with it? Being quite and calm is not the solution that has been demonstrated in history at all. People who stand up, shout and make other people aware of things – thats a more working-seeming approach. And guess what, thats exactly what you find in most heavy music! Why? Well, the music is heavy and there is a good reason for that. People realized that a quite and calm way does not always work especially when the thing you fight for is something way bigger than yourself. Hard and aggressive music is not hard and aggressive because people are crazy but rather because people are passionate about something and want to change something.

Okay, admitted, it is also a lot of fun to jump around in a crowd and just screaming out all the crap that happens in life – it is a good way of releasing emotions. ;)

Rocking the world

Sunday, November 21st, 2010

I stopped writing since a while now .. why?

I think I it is because currently there is nothing I need to think more about and there is nothing that makes me so unhappy that I need to find rules for this ;)

So I just rock my life on!

Long texts and no really content

Monday, September 27th, 2010

It’s confusing how many people talk a long time and the content of all they could be packed into 3 sentences. You are listening 10 minutes and it could have been 1 minute ..

Especially if people talk to a bigger group and they really dont get the point .. I hate it! :D

About this blog

Saturday, September 25th, 2010

Hey everybody! :)

My name is Ralph Küpper and this is my new (private) homepage. The reason why I created this new side is quite simple. I have some business sides and a site for philosophical articles. But there is no space for stupid comments and articles that describe something in my life. So this blog is for all the stuff I want to tell the world excepting business and philosophical.

Feel free to comment everything ..

Why do I write in english?

I live in Germany and I am german. The reason why I write here only in english is that my network of people I know became very big during the last years. So I’ll write in english that everybody can understand me – sorry my german friends. ;)